There is a prayer that I say everyday that is a part of the Celebrate Recovery program. That prayer focuses on my failures, my willingness to turn my life over to God, and a desire to think less about myself and my willpower. I ask for direction and wisdom. I want to help others, and to let other people see what God is doing in my life.
This prayer that I say everyday is the beginning of my day, and is not the only prayer, but I must be forgetting what I am asking God to in my life. You see, there is turmoil that is confronting me at every turn. Things that I would have never anticipated.
Just when you think everything is starting to come together, something new comes up that leaves you wondering how am I ever going to overcome these challenges. They are issues that I would have never thought would impact my home, but they are front and center. I am hurt, and scared. They are beyond my ability to control and I am having to rely on people who don’t instill much confidence that they are seeking a resolution that leaves our family happy and healthy. I really need God to help me and my family overcome these challenges.
Quite frankly, What I’ve told you about is by far the most important issue and challenge in front of me. Everything else is only but a sliver, and yet impacts my primary issues significantly.
For the last several months, I have had shoulder pain that goes through my arm and into my neck. Writing is difficult in that it causes more stress, and the pain from that makes concentrating even more difficult.
Just this weekend I went in as the pain was getting extreme. I am being scheduled to see an orthopedic surgeon, and have a new anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxer so I am finally able to comfortably write again. Hopefully, we can get something figured out soon.
The two issues above are wearing on my in a way that I am not as cheerful as I should be given my walk with Christ. I am tired, and scared, as I have numerous more issues to overcome. There are friendships that are no more, and then some that are coming back around. I am even challenged by betrayal from someone who I cannot simply shake for several years.
Sometimes I wonder if this is for all that I have done wrong in the past? How can this be happening to me?
I am asking for help that I do not necessarily deserve, maybe I am not humbled enough? Maybe I have more lessons to learn? I do not believe that God is testing me, but maybe this is Satan’s way of working me over. In any event, I am committed and I will not turn away from Christ, no matter what happens.
“For the word of God will never fail” – Luke 1:37 NLT
Prayer that I say everyday – the glue for the day
That prayer that I say everyday is the glue that is taking me to the next day. I realize that saying that prayer is not enough, that everyday I need to begin with a new day and move closer to overcoming everything that is in my path. I have faith, I am working on hope.