Letting go of the past is difficult, and being judged for your past is even more challenging. Being judged by your worst critic daily is not okay for self-esteem.
My worst critic is myself, which makes it worse. Satan is doing his best to manipulate my thinking, to keep me from having what I want and need most in my life.
It seems the more I come closer to Christ; the more Satan is at work trying to pull me away. He's even managed to get me to avoid praying for myself to do better, to be better and to let go of my fear.
I have always judged myself harshly, feeling that I don't deserve to have what others have, and my thoughts keep me from pursuing what is good, and what is right for my family and me.
That has to change, and it is changing now. I'm swallowing my pride; I'm telling you my story and demanding that Satan goes away, leave my thoughts, and free myself to let God take control of my life.
My truth is I do believe in God, and I believe God, but I have not been listening to him. My reasoning up until now is that I don't believe in myself, and that's not acceptable.
It is time to quit judging myself and let God do that, as I do not let anyone else judge me.
Letting go of Fear – Paralyzed no more
And, I am freeing myself up removing my fear, hearing Jesus telling me to stand up(as he commanded to the paralyzed man – Matthew 9 1:8)! The paralysis is no more, but I must carry my mat with me so that others will know the challenges overcome.
Satan challenged Jesus, tempting him to react, and each time he turned away until he commanded Satan to go away.
It is time for me to take another step forward in my relationship with Christ, to cease my personal judgments on myself, to command Satan to leave and to learn to pray for that which is good.
I am beginning to realize that we either challenge ourselves with what is bad, or what is good. It is our free will to decide which way we will travel.
I'm changing lanes heading towards what is good!