I had writer's block today, so I thought that an easy topic to write about would be how to please your wife.  I have been married for over twelve years, so I have had the pleasure to learn quite a bit about my wife. Marriage to me has been quite different than what I envisioned.  In my situation, this has been a good thing.

So where do I start with this?  I guess that it would only be fitting to start with kids.  Having children is such a joy that you cannot explain unless you have lived it.  We were married for two years before we had our first child.  Waiting a while after marriage to have your first child is good.  This point in your marriage is critical in forming your union.  When you spend time with your spouse during this period, you learn how to please your wife.  After the birth of your first child, things start to change.

After the first child.

Having your first child means that you now have another person in your house.  Not only does this person live with you day in and day out, but they depend on you for everything.  During this time, many couples enter a phase which I like to call deer in the headlights.  If you are not used to having an infant in your home, you are in for a rude awakening.  Instead of watching a movie from beginning to end with your wife, it might take you a week to finish.

Finding a way to please your wife during this time is hard.  Both parents are getting used to having a child.  The immature relationship matures overnight.  No longer are you one, but three.  What does a wife need during this time?  There are several things, peace, and quiet, love, affection, humbleness……….. I could make a very long, but we will start with these.  One thing that I realized after being married several years is that for your marriage to work, you must put the other persons needs ahead of yourself.

Just like when you take care of an infant before you take care of yourself.  Your spouse must be cared for as well.  When you get tired, frustrated and angry with life, know that your wife is probably feeling the same way.  This is not a time to drop your baggage on them.  It is time for you to pick up their baggage to lighten their load.  If both partners are doing this with the other person in mind, your relationship will thrive.  Feelings are usually reciprocated in marriage.

Continuing to please your wife as your children grow.

The baby stage does not last forever.  I remember when my third child was born.  He took several hours of coddling to get him to go to sleep.  We both thought the stage would never end.  I kept reassuring my wife that we would look back a year later and laugh at the situation.  Well, we remembered the conversation a year later, but we didn't laugh.  This one-year-old was just as big of a character as the day he was born.  This stage in life would soon pass as well.

Now my children are all old enough to go to school full time.  What now?  There will be a significant change in our life this year.  No more do I have a tag along to go to work with me.  My wife doesn't have to worry about getting our kids lunch.

When your children grow up, you now have more time for your spouse.

Remember your time bursting at the seams when your children were younger?  Now that they are growing up, there should be more time in your marriage to focus on each other.  Instead of bursting at the seams, your marriage should be overflowing with opportunity.  I am looking forward to taking this time to pleasing my wife.  We both have more time to spend with each other.  Instead of filling the extra time with nonsense, I would rather spend more time with my wife.

Pleasing your wife is not hard.  All you have to do is love her and care about her.  When you love her, you will put her before yourself.  When you care for her, you will express your love for her.

Ephesians 5:25-28 NASB 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;